“Confrontation”
(Last week's Small Group material can be found at this link.)
Pick someone to read aloud this remarkable story about confrontation.
Jesus & the Woman Caught in Adultery | John 8:2-11
At dawn he went to the temple again, and all the people were coming to him. He sat down and began to teach them. Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, making her stand in the center. “Teacher,” they said to him, “this woman was caught in the act of committing adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” They asked this to trap him, in order that they might have evidence to accuse him.
Jesus stooped down and started writing on the ground with his finger. When they persisted in questioning him, he stood up and said to them, “The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.” Then he stooped down again and continued writing on the ground.
When they heard this, they left one by one, starting with the older men. Only he was left, with the woman in the center. When Jesus stood up, he said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, Lord,” she answered.
“Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.”
Listen to a snippet of Garrett’s message on these verses.
Let’s get further into this story.
What did the men do next? After those men dropped their stones and left the woman to live, what do you think they did?
Maybe they learned something and went on to be less judgmental. Or maybe it’s just as likely that they left doubly upset? First at the woman “getting away” with her sin, and second at Jesus outsmarting their attempt to trick him.
How do you respond? Take a couple minutes to think through the following questions for yourself, personally, and try to let real situations come to mind as you think about these scenarios.
When someone does something you know is wrong but is not corrected.
When someone thinks or says something wrong but is not corrected.
When you try to confront someone about something but they don’t seem to get it.
When you know you’re in the right but you still don’t win.
When you catch yourself thinking and acting like these men, consider another way of handling those situations—one that has a much better rate of success.
You see,
Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.
Brenè Brown
and
You can choose to be right, or you can choose to open the door to change.
Seth Godin
Jesus didn’t want shame for this woman, and he wasn’t concerned with winning an argument. He simply…
Got curious enough to listen.
Created a safe environment.
Earned trust in his vision for the future.
Take half a minute or so to silently think through the following question: What would happen if you applied these steps to one of the situations you thought of during the bullets above?
Before we go any further, it’s important that you know this: You’re not just the judgmental men in this story. You’re also the sinful woman.
Neither do I condemn you.
John 8:11a
As such, Jesus didn’t just say this to the woman. He says it to you.
When and if God confronts you with your sinfulness, it is not so that he can condemn you. This confrontation happens so that God can remind you that he doesn’t condemn you—he loves you and accepts you entirely, no matter what.
Go now, and leave your life of sin.
John 8:11b
For you and the woman, everything changes in Jesus’ promise.
Listen to this song in response.
Let’s talk about motivation.
While it cannot be said with absolute certainty that the song below is about Christianity, there are many parallels you can draw between the sentiments of this song and the reality of Christian living. As you listen, be looking for those parallels and especially for sentiments to which you relate.
(We’ve chosen the song “Heathens” by Twenty One Pilots for this module particularly because of its cultural prominence. It was featured on the soundtrack of the highly promoted movie “Suicide Squad” in 2016. It spent 39 weeks on Billboard’s Hot 100 list and broke the record for most weeks at #1 on Billboard’s Hot Rock Songs chart.)
Listen to this song. When you’re done listening, discuss the questions below.
Pro Tip: Spend at most a couple minutes on each of the following 3 questions.
1. Agree/Disagree: These two sections are saying the same thing.
Wait for them to ask you who you know.
Please don't make any sudden moves.
You don't know the half of the abuse.
Heathens (Chorus)
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.
1 Peter 3:15
2. Agree/Disagree: Living based on these directives from Paul in Romans 15:7-9 will likely lead to situations like these lyrics describe.
You're loving on the freakshow
sitting next to you.
You'll have some weird people
sitting next to you.
You'll think "How did I get here,
sitting next to you?"
Heathens (Verse 2)
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted
you, in order to bring praise to God. For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews on behalf of God’s truth, so that the promises made to the patriarchs might be confirmed and, moreover, that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy.
Romans 15:7-9
3. Agree/Disagree: Both of these sections address one of the primary ways in which the church has mishandled newcomers.
We don't deal with outsiders very well.
They say newcomers have a certain smell.
You have trust issues, not to mention
they say they can smell your intentions.
Heathens (Verse 2)
And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
2 Timothy: 24-26
Watch and take notes on our friend Pastor Kent’s exposition of Ephesians 4:25-32.
Take a look through this powerful section on how to approach people.
Watch this short video and discover radical listening.
God is a radical listener. Here are a few examples:
But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me.
Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice.
Psalm 55:16-17You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
Psalm 56:8I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy.
Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!
Psalm 116:1-2
Truly listening is one of the greatest ways you can serve those around you. 30 minutes spent radically listening to someone is almost guaranteed to be better than 30 minutes in front of the TV (or scrolling through social media).
Pray, using the prompts in this video.
Listen and meditate.
Close out your time today with the song More Heart, Less Attack.
(Lyrics can be found below the video.)
Lyrics
Be the light in the cracks
Be the one that's mending the camel’s back
Slow to anger and quick to laugh
Be more heart and less attack
Be the wheels not the track
Be the wanderer that's coming back
Leave the past right where it's at
Be more heart and less attack
The more you take, the less you have
‘Cause it’s you in the mirror that's starin’ back
Quick to let go, slow to react
Be more heart and less attack
Ever growing, steadfast
And if need be, the one that's in the gap
Be the never turning back
Twice the heart any man could have
Be the wheels not the track
Be the wanderer that's coming back
Leave the past right where it's at
Be more heart and less attack
Be more heart and less attack
I stuck my hat out
I caught the rain drops
I drank the water
I felt my veins pop
I’m nearly sanctified
I’m nearly broken
I’m down the river, I’m nearly open
I’m down the river, to where I’m going
May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ,
and the love of God,
and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us all.
(2 Corinthians 13:14)
